It comes as the self-inflicting pain of the other side of that proverbial double-edged sword. I find, in dusty tomes, scientific reports, careful analysis that great threads of knowledge, knitted together into magnificent tapestries of history within which are revealed the unveiled realisations of history and person itself. In a way, I am Clio herself and my pedestal, altar in which I bring the nightly sacrifices of a day’s research, kill myself. At times of great energy and positivity I find myself crusading for the cause of telling it. The amazing things I learn, which resting on years of carful experimentation and meditation, light shines. I’ve noticed something.

The curse is of course that there may be as many as zero people who would want to know. I could fill a whole evening with material where I outline and expound the great orchestral symphony of history. Magnum opii. However, as holder of some mystical knowledge whose only requirement for access is really time and interest, a solitary journey, I only exist in the query one may have. Sadly, I have no short answers. I love you because I do. And so, wit, humour and existence is not my role. I rather am the abridged volume of a wiki page. Wikiman. 

In a sense, the abyss has taken me. And I have become its mistress. It’s my relationship with work, with my purpose. Finding your purpose in life is no easy task, and once you do…well do you take arms and join the struggle or live life. I’d rather be shot in the name of history. I’d rather be a person whose cause when it arises be something you are so utterly committed to that without it…you would be purposeless. I’m sorry, but I cannot give you my entire self…because well I’ve turned myself into a weapon which when summoned will thrash and slash the vices of myth, shatter pleasant lies and struggle for the purpose of reality of history,p. Noble causes…a fool’s errand. 

What’s the point of being a full vessel, but a solitary one? Where are you Moriarty? Where are you Nemesis? Why haven’t you challenged me? Why have I not been summoned? Sunken ships tell interesting stories…but they sail no more.


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