Legionario

When the readership ends, a strange journey filled with stale and dank space of knowledge, to find amidst the recovery of trash and record of things whose only purpose is a stasis from decay. To exist, as a reminder that many, many people came before us and lived and thought this just like us. It sounds naive, but while the world of archaeological analysis collects and categorises like wall-e, some hint is always missing. And I think it has existed outside of our interest. It’s a personal catharsis, which in passing may produce items of writing which are collected and eventually carry out an autopsy on the carcasses. And so, when I leave the desk for long enough, the duty evaporates. Always with great difficulty, to reach a point when you can feel like you are connected to othe human beings I your lifetime. It’s natural and yet feels so unreal. And it’s really that e world needs to get shit done. There is always stuff to do and things to be done. And you may be the greatest and most dedicated activist, but even MLK took days to be with his family, although I can’t pretend to know his state of mind in any way. But let’s say, tomorrow there will still be everything to do. History has shown me that our time, although not predicated on it being leisurely created  people whose life could have just been on of bliss and pleasure. Organising a party does require some effort I suppose.

And yet my indenture to my existence feels still granted, because it is. A difficult thing to enjoy youth this way. But youth was and is so for many who feel no issue in spending the money of a a family or state to which they feel no obligation nor even gratitude to the their premium existence. How easy it has been. Fortunate is the one who wishes a prison for which to escape from, fortunate is the one who has escaped from their prison. I don’t understand it, but for many life is terminus ante quem. And so, Indiana, perhaps you, your fathers child lived a prosperous childhood. And your reckless and daredevil life is a way for you to find excitement and challenges in higher stakes, because well your status and way of life is guaranteed…so vendettas, wars, and recklessness are the only way to challenge your existence. Memento mori for there is struggle for you. There is no payday loan, wage slavery and crushing debt. Your indenture is own solely attached to the fact that you live, whereas for many the reality is that a capitalist version of feudarchy has placed them in servitude with some civic privileges to enjoy. Really, slaves where not only slaves every moment of their life. Only occasionally. It does not make it ok. But, if we agree to view things as they are, perhaps it will be easier to understand your current situation. But what gain does a slave have to now knowing they are now slaves? Educated and skilled ones are worth more, enjoy more privileges, and in this way we are not so different from ancient Athenians. Except now are tablets are no longer made of clay, and our rhetoric takes place on a global networked agora known as the agora.

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Time jumping

It’s been a while, but, as we know, time is only there when we remember it has passed. Unapologetic.

One of the singularly important processes that niggles at the back of my mind on a daily basis is that of how do humans get to become who they are in their lifetime, why and what of their world do they understand. How did we get to be here and the way we are. What do we think and believe of the world we witness in our rarely double digit decades of life. I am told that I would drive myself only crazy with this but I am learning to recompose myself and hopefully, live in the time of my own lifetime. This is what I wish to talk about, and let me begin by letting you in a little ritual of mine. After wandering with my mind through the tortuous caverns of my own thoughts, jumping through space and time, through entire eons of human lives, I find that I usually struggle to return to my own dimension, to the world of my own surrounding. Time jumping as such has a cost, and mine has been a certain emotional shielding, but enough on that. And also, I will explain my time jumping game in another wordy entry. 

So, the ritual is simple and consists of two actions. One, is to simply clasp my skull with the fullness of my hand. Essentially holding on the skull that holds my brain. It reminds me of my biology, that I am a primate who happens to have been born in this world and inheriting and learning all sorts of tools and technologies. And that in some way, all the amazing achievements are the collective ans sustained efforts of a species of primates. I have build and improved nothing, but I am merely a source of energy and labour which we remunerate. A proud pair of hands controlled by a moderately capable mind in certain specific tasks. Clasping my brain as such well, it centres me back to the fact that I am not in medieval Greece or prehistoric China or ancient Nabataea, but rather in the suburban circumstance of my life. Space and time which is my own. It also cures me from a bigheaded habits deep, which I occasionally suffer from.

The other ritual is that I actively massage or rather mould my head or mind. Collecting the overspill, putting the tools and infrastructure which I created in order to deliberate in the alternate space time dimensions that I jump into as part of my work. It is like clay, that has grown into all sorts fabulous and sordid sculptures of historical imaginings and facts. It all needs to occasionally be done, you know, put the tools back in the box. If I leave it out, well, it keeps going you know. It keeps processing and building and that’s good and useful when need. But it’s like a computer that you leave turned on for too long and it has started developing its own algorithms and its own world ad infinitum. And well for sanity’s sake it’s often good to switch the whole thing off. Save some of that CPU ram memory, because a brain you only get own and once it’s fried it takes a long time to cool down and it might never.

So then, why these two rituals? Well, it is in a way a communion with our genetic ancestors. Well, it reminds you of the awe inspiring phenomenon of our genetic spread and takes you one step towards beginning to understand the real meaning of millions of lives ‘lives’! And how yours is not so different and as limited and finite as yours. That you are born as part of an ungraspable conscience by many of genetic, cultural, ideological and cultural lineage which you can only escape through great mental fortitude, or great ignorance of it. And I suppose that’s pretty good value as an awareness. The fact is, time jumping anyone can do it. But many people end up going through the same corridors and so, never steer away from that often imaginary historical doctrine. I like to wander through the lives of random people, random times random places. Of course, I have my favourites.